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Medical Aphorisms

I have tried to generate some useful medical aphorisms, that are also fun...
Over the years I have collected a small folder of medical related humor items to pull out and amuse myself. This includes such gems as patient's terms; smiling mighty Jesus for spinal meningitis, and fireballs of the Eucharist for fibroids of the uterus. My summary of the variety of blood types is:
Good blood, bad blood
High Blood, low blood
a sort of mini-poem said in a rapid fire fashion , Trochaic not iambic, it refers to normal blood counts, syphilis, hypertension and anemia respectively. These items are frequently ironic as they derive their humor from a small microcosm of our humanity that is often tragic. Like a fresnel lens in a picture window they magnify and distort a portion of this humanity.
I have also tried to generate some useful humor, aphorisms that recognize what I have seen. These are somewhat topical but may ring true for those not of our circle.

1. Anyone claiming to have a high pain tolerance generally does not.
2. Sick elderly are only euvolemic passing from hypervolemic to hypovolemic, or the reverse.
3. The person who most should be comfortable during a medical procedure is the one with the needle or the knife....
4. Fat people, me included, 'never eat much'.
5. There is nothing so overrated as a good lay, nor so underrated as a good BM. Which one could you go the rest of your life without......
6. The only good aerobic exercise is anaerobic.
7. If you only have a little to offer, offer them a little.
8. Flu definition see this